Emoji Man

He used 🥹🔥💯🫶 in every single message, convinced he was a poet of the digital age. When asked how he really felt about the breakup, he simply replied: 💔😔🕊️🫗. At his grandfather’s funeral, he didn’t cry—he just posted 😢🪦🕯️⚰️🕊️ and called it closure. His job performance review included the feedback “needs more depth,” to which he responded 😤📉🙄✌️. One day, he tried to write a love letter with just emojis and accidentally proposed to a grilled cheese sandwich 🥪💍😍. Some say he died with a smile on his face, but the coroner’s report just read: ☠️👻💫💀🤷.